Listen up FOOLIO's: SL SAFETY TIP # 1

SL SAFETY TIP # 1 :
SAFEGUARD YOUR HUMAN
by Mish Bish

In my work as a SL Police Officer, I often encounter stories of people being stalked, and on interviewing them, find they have given the stalker enough information to track them down. Often Foolio's rush into new relationships gushing out personal information like a broken water pipe, forgetting that there are many mentally unstable creeps lurking around in SL. Lets say your one of those Foolio's who thinks this message doesn't apply to them, cause you feel you never give any one person more than one real truth about yourself, for those people I have brought a scenario of a recent stalker's case.

EXIBIT A - In this case Millie is talking to different people, feeling safe that she is not giving out too much information to the people she is chatting to.

Gavin - "It's cold here, snowing again brrr, bet your gonna make me jealouse with the great weather your experiencing, hey where do you live? Can't rememer if you ever told me."

Millie - "I live in a little town called "Houton" in Australia, and yes its hot hot hot here lol!"

Steve - "Roll on the weekend! I've been under so much pressure to find new business in this bad economy. I am an investment consultant for UGL Bank and times are rough! So what do you do for a living?"

Millie - "I work as a receptionist for ABC Hero Construction, great company, been with them for 2 years now and loving it!"

Suzie - "Omg I have always hated my name, Pippa Vand Der Bilt!, What a name ha ha ha, hey how funny that we have known each other all this time, and never known each others names! lol! what's your real name Millie, I bet its something unusual!"

Millie - "I Know! ha ha ha, no nothing exotic or unusal, actually very ordinary "Mandy Smith" HOWS that for a ordinary name, my parents had no imagination!"

In the above case Millie is speaking to 3 different people on separate occasions, she feels safe as she hasn't told any one person more than one truth, what she doesn't know is that Gavin, Steve and Suzie are all alts of the same human, who are using different persona's to get personal information from her. While Millie is blissfully unaware, her stalker now knows where she works, what she does for a living, where she lives and her real name. The stalker can now access Millie the Foolio, even go to her work place, walk into reception and confirm her by name, now what stops him from following her home?

My advise to you Foolios is not to give out personal information to anyone, no names, places of work, references to places near you, email addresses, nothing personal that can lead a creep to your front door. It takes time to know people and just because you're a trusting idiot who won't harm or stalk someone, doesn't mean the person you're speaking to thinks like you do. Remember that in SL people can pretend to be anyone; this means they may give you fake personal information or disarm you with their alt, or act like a decent human being just to get your personal details. ALWAYS keep your human safe!

Anonymous Hippopotamus: Portrait of a Pixel Psycho

Anonymous Hippopotamus:
Portrait of a Pixel Psycho
By Louie

***Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to read is true. Only names have been changed and faces concealed, to protect the innocent.***

A Psycho is defined as a deranged individual or crazy person. Definitions dealing in emotions tend to confuse me as there is so little about pathetic feelings I still don’t understand; I hope you can better understand what is trying to be stated here. Carrying on, in this interview of two best friends who we’ll call Betty and Veronica, we will find out just how psycho one person can become while playing Second Life.

Louie: “Introducing… Betty & Veronica”

Betty: “Hi all!”

Veronica: “Hello everyone”

It all began with a sad lonely girl, her best friend and a crush. You see this lonely girl Betty, who had just started playing SL, had only just begun to feel comfortable with the few “SL friends” she had recently made and the one or two “SL friends with benefits” she kept as company. Betty and her best friend Veronica would go everywhere and do everything together.

Louie: “Betty and Veronica, how is it that you two met and became such good friends?”

Betty: “My Sagittarius, sister from another mister, found me at an all girls home; wondering about aimlessly. She somehow has never left my side since. We’re like peanut butter and jelly. Yah they’re good alone, but together; classic. Veronica has always been kind, sweet, and delightfully funny; pee-your-pants funny in fact. I consider her to be my heterosexual pixel partner. I love her to bits!”

Veronica: “I met Betty early in my SL life while I was going through my first sl heartbreak, Betty gave me great insight and was so funny, I instantly loved everything about her, full of fun, never a drama queen, and we just connected on so many levels, she is like a sister to me and I have known her for more than 2 years now.”

Louie: “And when did the two of you take your relationship to the next level?”

Betty: “Excuse me?”

Louie: “Moving right along…”

 
Let’s fast forward a bit shall we? So, one dreary and depressing pixel day, Betty & Veronica started chilling at their friend’s, we’ll call him Archie, beach-hangout. Archie and Betty became very close at this time, as Betty was helping Archie to create a more visually pleasing club. Little did everyone know that Archie was also getting “close” to Betty’s best friend Veronica and some other hangout guests like Betty’s arch nemesis Beth!

Louie: “How is it that none of you half wits was able to catch on that this ego-maniac was playing everyone for a fool? Was he really that smooth?”

Betty: “Thanks for the compliment buddy. It’s not that we were stupid fools, he was just such a good liar or should I say manipulator. We started out as friends with benefits but then quickly transformed into this depressive “you have so many faults, but I’ll still like you” kind of relationship. He made you feel bad about yourself then made sure you knew that he was the only one who would accept these faults. He got his jollies any way he could, and when he was satisfied he tossed you aside. Mere curiosity to find sense in a brainless situation kept you coming back for more. He definitely had that Rico-I’m-too-cool-for-you-suave going on. For sure!”

Veronica: “Absolutely, it doesn’t help that his avatar was smoking hot, but he had a way about him, a bad boy, and he made you feel like you had to prove yourself to him, there was something compelling about him like watching a train crash, the part that was most confusing was that he could be fun and cool and very generous, but then it could change in an instant, and he became mean and nasty. In my mind I knew that Betty always liked him, so that was one reason I never crossed the line of no return. “

Betty: “I liked him and I didn’t like him. I’ll admit it was one of my first SL crushes but I knew Archie was fooling around with this other chica Beth and at least two others. I just told myself it’s just a SL fling, no big deal.”

Long story short, Archie’s hangout became the coolest place to be, according to the dimwits that frequented there. Archie became full of himself when all the lil’Archie-fook-my-ass-groupies began to feed his ego. It’s amazing how owning a sim or part of a sim can change your “coolness” & “fook-worthy” status.

Louie: “Now here’s where, if I understand correctly, things take a sharp left turn. Archie’s new found coolness unleashes the beast inside of him or do you think it was something else?”

Betty: “Oh he was a beast alright”

Veronica: “Louie, in life ...if you are a beast, no matter how you cote yourself, chances are that you won't be able to keep up the facade. I think it was always within Archie to let the darker side of him come out, and playing the cool guy was fun while things went well, but with people like Archie... once they lose their footing or something doesn't go their way, your always gonna see the bitter twisted side surface.”

Betty: “I totally agree. Eventually I let go of the friends & benefits thing with Archie and all that remained was a pathetic excuse for a friendship. One day I let Archie know that drama was building due to the people he was hooking up with and the places he was doing it in. It was purely selfish though, I told him cause I was sick of others coming to me and talking about his business; it definitely made me a little jealous. Anyway I figured if he would be more quiet, I wouldn’t have to hear about it. Well that was it for him. Apparently knowing that I knew about his crazy pixel sex adventures was too much for him to handle. He was never nice to me again. Always an asshole, no matter rain or shine.”

Fast forward a little more to the escape plan. Somehow the two space cadets muster up some brain power and figure out it is best to kick an A-hole to the curb any day of the week. All one really needs to have a romantically good time is a bottle of vodka and some Tylenol PM.

Louie: “Please explain how it is you reached your breaking point? When exactly did you find yourself hitting that MUTE button?”

Betty: “His last couple of messages consisted of something like “how are you midget bitch?” “what’s up your ass?”. I just didn’t see what point there was to keeping him around anymore. He brought nothing but nastiness to the table. I was sick of his stupid hello’s one day and hit mute. A couple of weeks later he stalked me at my personal pixel store but I just teleported away cursing his sorry ass. Never again did I go there to work on my art. But after that, the storm had gone away.”

Veronica: “Well I was angry how Archie had treated Betty, and I hit Mute, but in time I cleared my Mute list, and to be honest, I didn't think I would hear from Archie again, after all Betty was the one who introduced me to him, so I just figured he had moved on.”

Louie: “And how was life without the beast? (hums the tune: Ding-dong the witch is dead)”

Veronica: HA HA HA, appropriate tune Louie! It was nice not to have him around, I certainly didn't miss the sudden switches from Mr nice guy to Mr nasty ass. Who needs people like that, and I didn't personally like the way he seemed to view woman, like his personal toys.

Betty: “The drama in my second life literally stopped when Archie went away. It was that simple. Cut the cancer out and all will be well again!”

Now the girls think they’re safe in sound as long as they have their mute lists updated, their pixel bats ready, and their security orbs armed. Little did they know, psychos always find a way to get all that they desire. After all, they’ve got nothing to lose; these people have kissed sanity goodbye a long time ago. It’s Bananas!

Louie: “But the creeper didn’t disappear forever did he? When did the psycho reappear in your second lives?”

Betty: “Turns out Archie ended up making an alt. I met him when he asked me to make his profile pictures. Fortunately that’s all we got to as I was rushed that day. I made ‘em the pictures, got paid, then logged off never to hear from him again until the day he confessed to Veronica his true identity.”

Louie: “Tell me about this alt; let’s call him Jughead.”

Veronica: Funny thing was, that I was the first person Jughead contacted in order to get in touch with Betty, and it was strange, but Jughead instantly made me think of Archie, and I still can't explain why I felt that. He had obviously thought it through carefully, had answers for everything, and had built a ready to use fake persona. Premeditated to the core

Louie: When did the two of you brain-donors figure out that the monster was back? What were some of the big tip-offs?

Betty: I honestly had no idea. Veronica ended up telling me after the asshole confessed to her. The only hint I had was the nausea in my stomach telling me to get away from the fake creep that stood before me just before his confession to Veronica.

Veronica: “It is so strange how intuition works, but Jughead, Archies alt, came to visit Betty while I was there, and before I had even rezzed I instantly thought of Archie. My gut feeling told me that Jughead was in fact a alt of Archie, so after Betty whispered to me that she was leaving as Jughead was getting on her nerves, I stayed on, I chatted to Jughead, and then I started speaking to Jughead about Archie. Told him that he reminded me of Archie, and that was when he confessed the truth.“

Louie: “So where does that leave you now ladies? Is the stalker still stalking you? Does he haunt your dreams? Will you ever be over this nightmare?”

Betty: “I’m trying not to be so dramatic about it considering I flipped out like a banshee when Veronica told me Archie was back and loaded with alts. I added another name to the mute & banned list and crossed my fingers. I think I might start going to church too. Maybe God can help; I hear he’s good with demons.”

Veronica: “Well this time Archie and his alt are both on a permanent vacation in my mute list, I was angry after the fact, when I had time to think it all through, I felt it was so sad and pathetic to lie like that, to use a alt to come stalk Betty and then flirt with me, Who needs that rubbish in their SL, I wonder why he didn't just get on a bus and move on. Why try and be around people that don't want you around?”

Louie: “So Ladies, any advice for the future SL prey? Any words of wisdom to bestow upon your fellow foolios?”

Betty: “Yah; don’t talk to strangers, or anyone else for that matter, until you get yourself a Veronica fraud detector. I never leave home without mine now.”

Veronica: “ha ha ha you know I have your back Betty! Well Louie, my advise would be, Never let a smoking hot skin blur your creep radar. Also be highly suspicious of anyone contacting you out of the blue if they are not on the same sim as you, and if they say - well i tp-ed away, ask them where they saw you. Don't trust anyone. And if someone is vile enough for you to have muted them, KEEP THEM ON MUTE!“

Well I’m sure we’re all very happy that didn’t end in a pixel mess; although I do love a good horror story. Imagine if Archie kidnapped Betty and forced her to watch his sexual adventures with Veronica. Ah, one can only imagine.

Moral of the story folks: Don't hang around psychos. You may just turn into one yourself!

So until next time my gender challenged friends, always remember whether you admit it or not, they know for sure; THE HIPPOS ALWAYS KNOW!

Showcase-Sim-Searcher #1 Save Japan

Showcase-Sim-Searcher
#1 Save Japan
by Lil'Bits

Momma neva liked to helps peoples. That's just not me! I like helpin' peoples just as much as I like explorings! That's why I wanted to visits a Japan relief sim for my first travel installment. In the SHOWCASE tab I founds this place called Japan Dream (Japan dream kenjin malandi, malandi 116, 139, 22_005).

Not as goods as I first thought it would be but I did have an OK time there. I was able to play on the statues and shares secrets with thems. I got to write to Japan in a handy dandy notebook. Someone is going to take my note and give it to Japan in a video. I think it's kinda like how Santa gets his presents lists but I'm not totally sure. I'm only 87% sure. Well maybe 89% sure. Or maybe 85% sure. No, definitely 50% sure.

I also got to feel betters when I did this note cause now Japans will know that I want to help thems. Maybe I should visits another not so stupids sim that actually lets me donate to Japan. First trip: FAIL! I can just hear Momma screaming at me now, "Can't find anything to do with yourself besides take up space huh?". "I hate you Japan Dream and I hates yous MOMMA!"

Lou's "How.2" : Using Search to Travel

Lou's "How.2":
Using Search to Travel
by Lou Daines

"What's the flight situation?"
"Simple. There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak."
"I guess we'll find out soon enough."
"Yeah, but by the time the airline cancels this flight, which they will sooner or later, you'd have more of a chance to find a three-legged ballerina than you would a hotel room."

~Neal & Del, Planes, Trains & Automobiles

We're finally getting somewhere now. You're brain is beginning to swell with intelligence and you're ready to start exploring. I would first suggest beginning with the SEARCH function. Depending upon your viewer, the location of the "Search button" may be in numerous places; and by numerous places I mean at the top, bottom or side of your computer display. Click the magically Search button once you have found it. Another window will appear allowing you to modify your search.

Click on the SHOWCASE tab and you should see a list of popular places to explore in Second Life. This is only a fraction of actual locations there really are but SL couldn't possible list them all in one spot. You can find less popular places by simply typing in keywords under the PLACES tab. To begin checking out different locals simply click on the region TITLE, listed in blue. Another window will appear along with a TELEPORT button. Press the button and you will be magically transported to your destination.

To better showcase SL's Showcase (he-he), let me formally introduce to you Lil'Bits. Miss Bits' favorite place to hide-out is the Search window. To her, it is a magical portal to the infinite worlds of make believe. Frolic with her through the different sims and locations that SL has to offer.

Say "Hello Lil'Bits", the Showcase-Sim-Searcher.

SL4Dummies: Anchor Team

SL4Dummies:
Anchor-Team Introduction

by Mishka Winslet & Lou Daines

  SL4Dummies:  From Left to Right: Mish Bish, Boog-a-lou, Loulicious, Lil Bit's, Miss Wins, Mishka Winslet, Lou Daines, Louberry Muffin, Mimi Walters, Miwi, Mishpotatoes and Louie.

A little bit about the crew...

Name: Mish Bish

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Slogan: "Make my day FOOLIO"

Background: 

Mish Bish carries a colt 45, shotgun, baseball bat, pixel vaporizer and butter knife. She has a total obsession to arrest people; not to mention her trigger happy fingers. This crazy PO-PO goes to a shrink to cure her obsession with shooting things that bling. Long story short, she shoots first then asks questions later. Mish Bish also has level 666 training in alt detection. Her interviewing style is similar to a terrorist interrogation and she always sleeps with a bullet proof vest on. She has been spotted knitting tea cozies and wearing her pink bunny slippers when driving, but don't let that fool you. This chica makes her own laws. On a lighter note; every Saturday and Sunday Mish Bish volunteers for the fashion police squad, ridding the world of one bling at a time!

Name: Boog-a-lou

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Slogan: "ehh-arrr-brrain"

Background: 

Not much is known about this zombie's current or former life. All that's known is; if you're not wearing some type of protective head-gear, this little, disgusting, man-eating, bitch is going to make a meal out of your shit-for-brains. Boogie makes a killer green bean casserole as well; not the vegetarian kind for all you humans that aren't into eating BRAINS! We also know that Boogie's quest in SL is a welcoming one. She aspires to meet and greet as many newbies as possible; helping them to feel welcomed, occasionally feeding on an innocent noob's brain. Come on; a 1:5 feeding ratio ain't bad!

Name:  Loulicious

Gender:  Female

Zodiac Sign:  Libra

Slogan: "Party Limo is Here!"

Background:

Originally from Hoboken, NJ, Loulicious' only claim to fame was her audition for the "Jersey Shore". It's pale, scratch that, easy to see why she didn't get a spot on the hit TV show. I'm sure MTV guessed no one would want to watch "the Albino" break it down in Jersey.  A dozen Red Bull injected a day, tight-ass slutty clothing, vodka consumed for breakfast-lunch-dinner, fake tits and a good-time attitude; who could pass that up? However; that didn't stop Loulicious from partying on! Loulicious aka Vicious Licious can now be spotted at all the hot, scratch that, token clubs. Join her on her wild adventures of finding new DJ's, fellow yuppie clubbers and so many more not-so-interesting clubber people. Sixty percent of the time, it's mildly entertaining all the time!

Name:  Lil'Bits

Gender:  Female

Zodiac Sign:  Cancer

Slogan: "Let's just pretend..."

Background:
Orphaned at a young age, this special little one was born mentally challenged. The doctors blame her mother and the addictions to Johnny Walker and Jolly Ranchers while she was preggo with Lil'Bits.  The little darling was named by her mum, because of the lil'bits she has for brains. Needless to say while she had a mum, she was cruel. It's apparently why she ended up deleting her mommas pixels at the age of three. Did we forget to mention she orphaned herself? Almost 11 now and Lil'Bits has blossomed into a curious, cheese sandwich eating, creature.  She prefers her own personalities and imaginary friends to those that are truly living and breathing. This is probably why she was snatched up by SL4Dummies. Emulating the work of her heroin: "Dora the Explorer", her somewhat similar parody, "Showcase Sim Searcher" highlights all the interesting sims and landmarks there are to visit in Second Life. Watch out for this little monster when the moon is full though. Lil'Bits' dark side has been known to surface when her obsession with the mermaid and toe-biting-fairy that live under her bed becomes too much to deal with. A scary duo for sure; she tends to sleep in the bathtub because of this issue.

Name:  Miss Wins

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign:  Gemini

Slogan:  Sum Ting Wong!??

Background:  (UNDER-CONSTRUCTION)
Miss Wins loves everything Chinese long time …saving to change her name to – Tai Ni Po NI …always wears kimonos even to work as a yoga instructor …born in North Africa but speaks with a deliberate fake Chinese accent (believing that she only needs to drop or replace all the R's with L's to sound convincingly Chinese)…loves to photograph ants and tries to mate them (has a large collection of ant pornography) …liquidizes all her food together …is obsessed with writing the words “SPEND WISALEE!” on paper money

Name: Mishka Winslet

Gender: Female
Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
Slogan: Who are you in the Pixel Zoo?
Background: (UNDER-CONSTRUCTION)
Hair and Pixel shoe addict... loves to swim in the pool of creative minds due to her own lack of artistic talent... gives impromptu singing performances in the shower to an audience of none ...born in South Africa but lost somewhere out there in the big wide world ...builder of skew everything ...mentally kungfu kicks idiots, racist and ignorant twits in the head ...likes to push buttons just to hear the sound of BOOOM! ...a bitch when provoked ...Always fair, honest and sarcastic ...baptized through the rings of SL fire ...can be a complete echo brain sometimes ...out of a hundred million sperm, she was the fastest swimmer ...compulsive obsessive inventory organizer

Name:  Lou Daines

Gender:  Female

Zodiac Sign:  Sagittarius

Slogan:  "True story, lol"

Background: (UNDER-CONSTRUCTION)
...dwells in possibility ...dork at heart ...artist ...Yankee bitch ...lover of all things good ...destroyer of all that is evil ...has a humping pet Puggle ...can't butter her own toast ...incredible sense of logic but super naive ...smile-maker

Name: Louberry Muffin

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Slogan:  "Peace man"

Background: 
Muffs greatest dream is to become president and solve the worlds problems with a dance-off and group hug. She's the love child of Afro-King Benny and Sunshine Carebear; so she pretty much poops rainbows and glows with 70's style. Muffs also trips on acid all day long while singing "Love me, love me, say that you love me, Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me..." She was obsessed with David Bowie since forever and has never been seen without her roller-skates on, even in bed. Her special "love happening" involves helping you find your sl-ZEN for your inner love child to blossom in. Love and hugs; that's what it's all about!

Name: Mimi Walters

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Slogan: "The show must go on!"

Background: (UNDER-CONSTRUCTION)

Married more times than Liz Taylor but only Rhine stones and cubic zirconium to show for it ...Lives in an executive trailer illegally parked on Rodeo Drive ...Never spends more than 60 minutes with anyone ...stalks Barbara Walters and models herself on her ...hates waste and re-uses dental floss, eats the supermarket grapes while shopping so she doesn't have to pay for them ...favorite hobby is kleptomania ...buys expensive gowns, wears them to events - then returns them the next day demanding her money back ..compulsively lies about being buddies with the A list stars - name drops even though she doesn't know anyone famous ...left eye always twitches but goes into overdrive when she gets upset ...most famous person allegedly interviewed was Homer Simpson
 

Name: Miwi

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Slogan: "Needs more Garlic"

Background:   
Born in Transpixelvania 311 years ago, Megeuanee, Izolda, Whaunita, Irmgard are the first 4 of her 18 names, she insists you call her Miwi instead. Although she is a direct Descendant of Count Dracula, this did not help her when she was shunned from the Vampire community for her lack of blood thirst and the fact that she is blood~tose intolerant. Her mother taking pity on her, hid Miwi in her inventory until she became a teenager at the tender age of 309. Believing they could change her, Tom and Brad adopted her but soon found her exhausting displeasure with the world and her refusal to stop eating garlic with everything, (even putting it in her coffee) too much to deal with. One fateful moonlight night, they abandoned her in a supermarket parking lot. Now she spends her days making voodoo dolls out of Barbie dolls, cooking Garlic preserves, writing anti Vampire poetry and fighting the urge to bite people (a natural instinct). Most days Miwi suffers from nightmares of Lycans chasing her, often waking up to find herself completely entangled in her 5 meter long hair. Miwi also has a stalkers crush on Donald Trump and daydreams about raking her fingers through his hair.

Name: Mishpotatoes

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Slogan: "Believe it or not, cause I do"

Background: (UNDER-CONSTRUCTION)

Obsessed with ufology believes she has been abducted by Aliens and is now terrified of them …Comes from a well to do family but never absorbed her expensive education …Applied for a role in Bay Watch 10 years ago - still waiting for the producers to get back to her …recently applied for the porn version …has the record for stuffing the most cheese puffs in her mouth without swallowing (84) …believes all men see her as super sexy and that all woman are jealous of her …looks like a confused duck when dancing …believes most conspiracy theories are fact …completely superstitious and tapes her mirrors with cello tape so they can’t break …never leaves the house on Friday the 13th …Thinks an atom is something found in a graveyard believes Santa is real, but HATES it when he gets drunk outside department stores

Name:  Louie

Gender:  Unknown

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Slogan: "That's bananas!

Background:
Alcoholic and drug addict; double whammy but mighty entertaining. Louie also rates high on the giggle scale for sexuality. Due to the fact that we have no fooking idea what the hell Louie is. Is she a he? Is he a she? We just don't know, but it sure is funny to try and figure out. Emotionless and patronizing are some more of this witty reporters attributes so make sure you catch his, or her installment of "Anonymous Hippopotamus". You know all that embarrassing shit that happened to you while you were playing SL. You need and want to tell someone about it; you yearn to share your experience so others won't have to relive the nightmare you can't forget, but don't want to, cause then "THEY'LL KNOW IT'S YOU". Well that's the point; Louie's great at hiding identities and will hide yours too, while sharing your crazy war-stories. So no more worries; just sit back and let the absurdities flow!

SL4Dummies: A Word from the Editors...

SL4Dummies:
A Word from the Editors
by Mishka Winslet & Lou Daines


Well... we pretty much covered all the "basic, simple-newbie-nonsense" and we're ready to introduce to you the rest of the reporting "SL4Dummies Anchor-Women Team". These amazing avatars will bring new meaning to your Second Life with ground breaking news reports, advice columns, earth shattering interviews and so much more.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may we introduce to you SL's finest Anchor team around: SL4Dummies!

SL4Dummies Anchor Team

Lou's "How.2" : Play

Playing SL:
Why The Hell Are You Playing Playa: Rules & Tools
Written by Lou Daines

"A wise man once told me... there's only one rule in this world, a small question that drives all success. The more a man invests in that question, the more powerful that man will become."
"Can you guess what that question is, Mr. Green?"
"What's in it for me?"

~Macha, Revolver

Um...Why do people use SL? you ask?
Well there are lots of reasons one would play Second Life...

a.) Socializing: Peeps that don't have the ability to get out or venture into the great wide open can use SL to do just that; meet other peeps and make friends around the world.

b.) Dating: Yes; people actually use Second Life like they use Match.com or eHarmony. Word to the wise: don't delete your other online matchmaking accounts, SL very rarely produces "matches made in heaven".

c.) Role-Playing: So you want to be a police officer, astronaut, drug-dealer, escort, vampire, lion, tiger, bear or Sponge Bob; but can't in Real-Life. Well, you're lucky there's SL! You can pretend to be whatever you want to be and play with others who prefer to live in a land of "make-believe".

d.) Business & Marketing: The selling of goods is huge here in SL. You can own a sim and become a land renter. You could produce custom fashions and skins; create a store and sell your goods in-world and at the marketplace. You could own a club, hire dj's and host's or maybe you would prefer to run your own "voice" escort service. The possibilities for making lindens$$$ is endless.

e.) Employment: Yupper; be anything you want to be and get paid for it. In Lindens of course. Then again you can always convert your Lindens into real dollars via your account when logged into the official SL website. Some popular jobs include: Models, Deejays, Hosts, and Wedding Planners (sad but true).

f.) Building: Remember the Sims? Yeah; it's kind of like that. You can build whatever you would like. From avatars accessories to sky scrapers. Or maybe something in between like motorcycles. With the right classes and a little hard work, you can create your dreams in no time at all.

~ <> ~

Lou's "How.2" : Evolve

Now & Then:
The Evolution of Lou & Mishka, Through Pictures
Written by Lou Daines

 "Who is that *sad* little person? Are we doing a before-and-after piece I don't know about?"

~Nigel, The Devil Wears Prada

I was just remembering the days of "noob". It's been quite the transformation but I definitely enjoyed the ride from noobie to snoodie. So how do you too make it from noob to super sexy avi?  Explore, be patient with yourself and don't spend all of your lindens in one place (if you have them that is).


I can recall wanting to be "awesomeness" just like the other "mature" avatars, when I was only a sprouting noob. I would constantly be inspecting other's garments and prims, to see where they had been shopping. I'd often participate in hunts and other freebie events to collect as many fashionable items as possible. My lindens also burned a hole in my pocket as I had to have every pretty "skin" I came across.

So take it from me, during the "evolution of YOU", spend wisely, inspect the goods, hunt down those high quality freebies and save your Lindens for some sexy "skins". People on SL pretend like they don't care about high quality skins; but you never see anyone stalking the oogly noobs now do ya?

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Lou's "How.2" : Finding Freebies

Noob-No-More:
Finding freebies on SL Marketplace
Written by Lou Daines

"...there's only one thing a man can do when he's suffering from spiritual and existential funk..."
"...go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys?"
"...no, buy new suits..."

~Ron Burgundy & Champ Kind, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Deep Breaths, deep breaths! You made it through the Welcome Area and now you're ready to explore the new world... but before you do decide to teleport to that new club or role playing sim, let me ask you something. Would you go out to a singles party wearing the outfit your momma picked out for you in the 1st grade? Or, would you go to church in your favorite S&M latex bodysuit? How about scuba diving in a tuxedo?

Of course your answer is NO; or at least I hope it is. You know if you did venture out past your front door looking like that, you would be considered a foolio. Or, Dumbass, idiot, poptart, moron, and brain-doner for all y'all that don't know what a foolio is. Well that's sort of what it's like being a noob is in SL. Noob = Foolio!

As a noob, you probably still have your SL default clothing, you walk like a duck, you look like an outdated cartoon character and you're 8ft tall. Not a good look; if you care about first impressions. It's most definitely time to beat it nerds and get some styling!

I should clarify that I'm not suggesting that you add your credit card info to your SL account and spend a fortune making your avi SL-beautiful. I am suggesting you take 15 minutes to see what free goods there are available to you to help enhance the look of your avatar. Just see for yourself!

In the past you would have to travel from store to store; sim to sim; and sandbox to sandbox, to find merchants that were giving away free items. Sometimes you would even stumble upon a super generous patron, that had whole stores of free goodies to offer. Although helpful, this process was very time-consuming. Not to mention most of the free items were crap!

Fortunately, some brilliant mind devised the SL Marketplace. This site is separate from the actual SL world, meaning you don't have to be logged into the game to access it.  All you have to do is go to:  marketplace.secondlife.com and you're ready to shop. Don't worry you wont need any money or a sugar daddy; there's plenty of quality freebies. So before you step out on the SL town, log onto the marketplace and follow the guidelines below.



To Shop for Freebies on Second Life Marketplace:
1. Go to the official SL marketplace website @ https://marketplace.secondlife.com/ and sign in. To sign in click on the "sign in" link at the top right of your screen. You will use the same log in information that you use to log into SL.

2. Once logged in, you can begin shopping. Since you don't have any Lindens it is pointless to shop around randomly. A really quick and easy solution to finding the items you can afford, mainly the free ones, is to look for the SEARCH WINDOW and type FREE or FREEBIE or PROMO or PROMOTION or any other "free-like" vocabulary in it.

3. Now that you've entered FREE into the search window, click enter on your keyboard. The marketplace will organize a list of goods that you can add to your shopping cart.

4. To add an item to your shopping cart, simply click on the picture. Another window will appear with additional information about the item you about to purchase. If you still want the item click the button: ADD TO CART. After you have added the selected item to your cart you can click the link "continue to shop" to be brought back to your current search.

5. Continue shopping as long as you like or until you reach 10 items in your cart. You're not limited to only 10 items but you can only CHECKOUT a max of 10 items at a time. Apparently the shopping carts aren't that big in SL.

6. To proceed to checkout click on the button CART on the top right of the website. Double check the list of items you have added as some of them might not be free. Even though you typed free some merchants still charge 1L or 5L for the item. If you change your mind about a product just enter 0 in the "Qty" window and the item will be deleted. Otherwise you are ready to click the orange button: CHECKOUT.

7. SL will ask you to review your order one more time by presenting to you another window. Click CONTINUE to proceed.

8. One last window will open displaying more marketplace goods. I consider this SL's last try to get you to buy something you don't want; Just scroll down to the bottom of the page, past the impulse buys and click PLACE YOUR ORDER. After clicking a confirmation window will open telling you your order is being sent to you in-world. You will also have the option of continuing to shop.

9. To access your new items you will have to log into Second Life and ACCEPT the deliveries that will be sent to you. As you accept your deliveries they should appear in your inventory. Open your inventory to view your purchases.

10. You're not finished yet.  You still have to open the boxes in order to wear the items in them. To open a box: Start by having your inventory open. Drag the item from your inventory to the ground your avatar is standing on. (You'll need to be in a public sandbox in order to drop items.) You should now see a small box or panel where you dragged the item. Click on the item and from your pinwheel selection window, select OPEN. One last step; from the window that just appeared after you clicked OPEN, click the COPY TO INVENTORY button. You now have your items in your inventory. To wear them just click on the item and select WEAR.

A little goes a long way, so if you only have a few minutes, here are some suggestions of Freebies to look for: Skins, body shapes, clothing, hair, shoes, eyes, eyelashes, jewelry and an AO(Animation Over-rider). Those are the only items I grabbed for LouLouRocks' new look and if I do say so myself: damn those pixels look fine!

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