Anonymous Hippopotamus:
Portrait of a Pixel Psycho
By Louie
Portrait of a Pixel Psycho
By Louie
***Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to read is true. Only names have been changed and faces concealed, to protect the innocent.***
Louie: “Introducing… Betty & Veronica”
Betty: “Hi all!”
Veronica: “Hello everyone”
It all began with a sad lonely girl, her best friend and a crush. You see this lonely girl Betty, who had just started playing SL, had only just begun to feel comfortable with the few “SL friends” she had recently made and the one or two “SL friends with benefits” she kept as company. Betty and her best friend Veronica would go everywhere and do everything together.
Louie: “Betty and Veronica, how is it that you two met and became such good friends?”
Betty: “My Sagittarius, sister from another mister, found me at an all girls home; wondering about aimlessly. She somehow has never left my side since. We’re like peanut butter and jelly. Yah they’re good alone, but together; classic. Veronica has always been kind, sweet, and delightfully funny; pee-your-pants funny in fact. I consider her to be my heterosexual pixel partner. I love her to bits!”
Veronica: “I met Betty early in my SL life while I was going through my first sl heartbreak, Betty gave me great insight and was so funny, I instantly loved everything about her, full of fun, never a drama queen, and we just connected on so many levels, she is like a sister to me and I have known her for more than 2 years now.”
Louie: “And when did the two of you take your relationship to the next level?”
Betty: “Excuse me?”
Louie: “Moving right along…”
Let’s fast forward a bit shall we? So, one dreary and depressing pixel day, Betty & Veronica started chilling at their friend’s, we’ll call him Archie, beach-hangout. Archie and Betty became very close at this time, as Betty was helping Archie to create a more visually pleasing club. Little did everyone know that Archie was also getting “close” to Betty’s best friend Veronica and some other hangout guests like Betty’s arch nemesis Beth!
Louie: “How is it that none of you half wits was able to catch on that this ego-maniac was playing everyone for a fool? Was he really that smooth?”
Betty: “Thanks for the compliment buddy. It’s not that we were stupid fools, he was just such a good liar or should I say manipulator. We started out as friends with benefits but then quickly transformed into this depressive “you have so many faults, but I’ll still like you” kind of relationship. He made you feel bad about yourself then made sure you knew that he was the only one who would accept these faults. He got his jollies any way he could, and when he was satisfied he tossed you aside. Mere curiosity to find sense in a brainless situation kept you coming back for more. He definitely had that Rico-I’m-too-cool-for-you-suave going on. For sure!”
Veronica: “Absolutely, it doesn’t help that his avatar was smoking hot, but he had a way about him, a bad boy, and he made you feel like you had to prove yourself to him, there was something compelling about him like watching a train crash, the part that was most confusing was that he could be fun and cool and very generous, but then it could change in an instant, and he became mean and nasty. In my mind I knew that Betty always liked him, so that was one reason I never crossed the line of no return. “
Betty: “I liked him and I didn’t like him. I’ll admit it was one of my first SL crushes but I knew Archie was fooling around with this other chica Beth and at least two others. I just told myself it’s just a SL fling, no big deal.”
Long story short, Archie’s hangout became the coolest place to be, according to the dimwits that frequented there. Archie became full of himself when all the lil’Archie-fook-my-ass-groupies began to feed his ego. It’s amazing how owning a sim or part of a sim can change your “coolness” & “fook-worthy” status.
Louie: “Now here’s where, if I understand correctly, things take a sharp left turn. Archie’s new found coolness unleashes the beast inside of him or do you think it was something else?”
Betty: “Oh he was a beast alright”
Veronica: “Louie, in life ...if you are a beast, no matter how you cote yourself, chances are that you won't be able to keep up the facade. I think it was always within Archie to let the darker side of him come out, and playing the cool guy was fun while things went well, but with people like Archie... once they lose their footing or something doesn't go their way, your always gonna see the bitter twisted side surface.”
Betty: “I totally agree. Eventually I let go of the friends & benefits thing with Archie and all that remained was a pathetic excuse for a friendship. One day I let Archie know that drama was building due to the people he was hooking up with and the places he was doing it in. It was purely selfish though, I told him cause I was sick of others coming to me and talking about his business; it definitely made me a little jealous. Anyway I figured if he would be more quiet, I wouldn’t have to hear about it. Well that was it for him. Apparently knowing that I knew about his crazy pixel sex adventures was too much for him to handle. He was never nice to me again. Always an asshole, no matter rain or shine.”
Fast forward a little more to the escape plan. Somehow the two space cadets muster up some brain power and figure out it is best to kick an A-hole to the curb any day of the week. All one really needs to have a romantically good time is a bottle of vodka and some Tylenol PM.
Louie: “Please explain how it is you reached your breaking point? When exactly did you find yourself hitting that MUTE button?”
Betty: “His last couple of messages consisted of something like “how are you midget bitch?” “what’s up your ass?”. I just didn’t see what point there was to keeping him around anymore. He brought nothing but nastiness to the table. I was sick of his stupid hello’s one day and hit mute. A couple of weeks later he stalked me at my personal pixel store but I just teleported away cursing his sorry ass. Never again did I go there to work on my art. But after that, the storm had gone away.”
Veronica: “Well I was angry how Archie had treated Betty, and I hit Mute, but in time I cleared my Mute list, and to be honest, I didn't think I would hear from Archie again, after all Betty was the one who introduced me to him, so I just figured he had moved on.”
Louie: “And how was life without the beast? (hums the tune: Ding-dong the witch is dead)”
Veronica: HA HA HA, appropriate tune Louie! It was nice not to have him around, I certainly didn't miss the sudden switches from Mr nice guy to Mr nasty ass. Who needs people like that, and I didn't personally like the way he seemed to view woman, like his personal toys.
Betty: “The drama in my second life literally stopped when Archie went away. It was that simple. Cut the cancer out and all will be well again!”
Now the girls think they’re safe in sound as long as they have their mute lists updated, their pixel bats ready, and their security orbs armed. Little did they know, psychos always find a way to get all that they desire. After all, they’ve got nothing to lose; these people have kissed sanity goodbye a long time ago. It’s Bananas!
Louie: “But the creeper didn’t disappear forever did he? When did the psycho reappear in your second lives?”
Betty: “Turns out Archie ended up making an alt. I met him when he asked me to make his profile pictures. Fortunately that’s all we got to as I was rushed that day. I made ‘em the pictures, got paid, then logged off never to hear from him again until the day he confessed to Veronica his true identity.”
Louie: “Tell me about this alt; let’s call him Jughead.”
Veronica: Funny thing was, that I was the first person Jughead contacted in order to get in touch with Betty, and it was strange, but Jughead instantly made me think of Archie, and I still can't explain why I felt that. He had obviously thought it through carefully, had answers for everything, and had built a ready to use fake persona. Premeditated to the core
Louie: When did the two of you brain-donors figure out that the monster was back? What were some of the big tip-offs?
Betty: I honestly had no idea. Veronica ended up telling me after the asshole confessed to her. The only hint I had was the nausea in my stomach telling me to get away from the fake creep that stood before me just before his confession to Veronica.
Veronica: “It is so strange how intuition works, but Jughead, Archies alt, came to visit Betty while I was there, and before I had even rezzed I instantly thought of Archie. My gut feeling told me that Jughead was in fact a alt of Archie, so after Betty whispered to me that she was leaving as Jughead was getting on her nerves, I stayed on, I chatted to Jughead, and then I started speaking to Jughead about Archie. Told him that he reminded me of Archie, and that was when he confessed the truth.“
Louie: “So where does that leave you now ladies? Is the stalker still stalking you? Does he haunt your dreams? Will you ever be over this nightmare?”
Betty: “I’m trying not to be so dramatic about it considering I flipped out like a banshee when Veronica told me Archie was back and loaded with alts. I added another name to the mute & banned list and crossed my fingers. I think I might start going to church too. Maybe God can help; I hear he’s good with demons.”
Veronica: “Well this time Archie and his alt are both on a permanent vacation in my mute list, I was angry after the fact, when I had time to think it all through, I felt it was so sad and pathetic to lie like that, to use a alt to come stalk Betty and then flirt with me, Who needs that rubbish in their SL, I wonder why he didn't just get on a bus and move on. Why try and be around people that don't want you around?”
Louie: “So Ladies, any advice for the future SL prey? Any words of wisdom to bestow upon your fellow foolios?”
Betty: “Yah; don’t talk to strangers, or anyone else for that matter, until you get yourself a Veronica fraud detector. I never leave home without mine now.”
Veronica: “ha ha ha you know I have your back Betty! Well Louie, my advise would be, Never let a smoking hot skin blur your creep radar. Also be highly suspicious of anyone contacting you out of the blue if they are not on the same sim as you, and if they say - well i tp-ed away, ask them where they saw you. Don't trust anyone. And if someone is vile enough for you to have muted them, KEEP THEM ON MUTE!“
Well I’m sure we’re all very happy that didn’t end in a pixel mess; although I do love a good horror story. Imagine if Archie kidnapped Betty and forced her to watch his sexual adventures with Veronica. Ah, one can only imagine.
Moral of the story folks: Don't hang around psychos. You may just turn into one yourself!
So until next time my gender challenged friends, always remember whether you admit it or not, they know for sure; THE HIPPOS ALWAYS KNOW!
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